THE BIG LIE OF IF-THEN HAPPINESS
We easily live in an illusion thinking that external success (wealth, professional achievements, fame, position of power) will deliver us happiness. This basic premise at the back of our mind keeps us trapped in the if-then lie. If I find the right partner, if I get that promotion, if I get that car, if I have a ski cabin in Aspen, then I’ll be happy.
According to Srikumar Rao, former business school professor, best-seller author and speaker, we don’t realize that the if-then model itself is flawed. We just continue changing the if. (Srikumar Rao’s TED talk.) And by changing the if we stay trapped in a desire treadmill. The sneaky part about this lie is that many others are living in the same lie, it’s what we see around us, it’s what is expected of us.
Although there is nothing wrong with enjoying external things and material success, they are great at bringing pleasure into your life, you just should not look for happiness in them – happiness and fulfillment only come from mastering your mind and being connected to your soul (inner being).
Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.
-marcus aurelius
If the if-then doesn’t work – what does work?
Is happiness a worthwhile goal? According to Sadhguru, an Indian spiritual teacher it is not a worthwhile goal but a fundamental aspect of life. According to him:
“The first and most fundamental responsibility for a human being is to become a joyous being. To be happy is not the ultimate aspect of life. It is the fundamental aspect of life. If you are not happy, what else can you do with your life? Only if you are happy, can other great possibilities open up.”
From a different approach, Ed Diener, a happiness researcher for over 25 years, comes to a similar conclusion, and considers that: “happiness is ultimately not about being happy. It’s about being happy in order to live a rich, varied, and meaningful human existence.”
Diener has identified four key ingredients for a happy life:
1. Psychological wealth is more than money. It includes your attitudes, goals and engaging activities at work.
2. Happiness not only feels good, but is beneficial to relationships, work and health.
3. It is helpful to set realistic expectations about happiness. No one is intensely happy all of the time.
4. Thinking is an important aspect to happiness.
(Source: https://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/history-of-happiness/ed-diener/)
Premise of Joy-Led Life Design is that happiness is absolutely hackable and there are multiple tools for the job. Everything starts with your mind, your thinking is key. (Alongside of currently creating the My Joy-Led Life Design workbook, we are building a hub for joyful-mind tools that can be utilized for hacking your happiness.)